Still on the diversity rap,


up on my soap box proclaimin' the virtues of bein' different.... Sittin', trying to gather some thoughts, surrounded by some hundreds of mostly identical white marble tombstones. There's names on 'em, and dates, and some have different styles of crosses, but from a distance they all look the same.... like the cattle that come to the stockyard across the street and bellow their lungs out every Wednesday night waitin' to be auctioned off the next morning and shipped to the executioners. I suppose the sheer number makes for some anonymity, and being conscious that I myself comprise only one seven billionth of the human population , I don't consider the mere fact that I exist to be anything all that special. As for what I do with my existence, that is a different matter, and I can be the master of my own universe, as mundane or bizarre a place as it may be. IF, that is, I can handle the social pressures and the labels that get stuck on me for being whomever or whatever I am... Of all the interesting ways to be different, it really annoys me that "sexual orientation" is the hot button. If I were in a more conspiracy theory type of mood, I'd say that maybe it was because the people who made up the rules (and enforce them) have been so sexually repressed for so long that the mere mention of the subject gets them all fired up (or should I say, "hot-and-bothered"), but I'm not feeling very radical today, so forget I mentioned it. Personally, I'd rather not be categorized. "Excuse me sir, you left line 69 blank, you know we can't process these papers until all the blanks have been filled." Er, ah, I'd be bisexual, only I've never been attracted to a man, but it seems all the women I fall for either already have boyfriends, are married, are lesbian or are people I've never met or only happened across in dreams. Anyone there's actually a chance with either scares the daylights out of me or goes "ugh" when I tell her my sign. (scorpio) So... I guess you could call me involuntarily abstinent due to ineptitude, fears and chronic bad timing. Got a box on your fancy form for that? I thought not... So what is this nosyness, this peekin' and pryin' into everyone's lives, this glarin' spotlight that we force each other to stand under? Who gave us the right to judge each other like this? Maybe the truth is that we're all so insecure about our own normalcy (or lack thereof) that we're dying of curiosity to see if anyone out there has actually figured something out(and is getting more nookie) before we have. Maybe we're all at that awkward point of clinging tightly to the old paradigm and looking ahead, fearfully, at the leap ahead of us into the new.

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