| "Do you ever have doubts?"she
asks, as if by some freak chance I might be some such anomaly of a human
being as to be totally and completely sure of everything. "Of course, plenty
of doubts." Doubts every day, doggin' my heels like so many ankle bitin'
yippin' dogs, serving as a constant reminder of the painful state of limbo
that is being human... |
| Met
a man on his way back, said he'd almost made it out of here. When it came
down to it, even though he was ready to give up some his sacred definition
of self, meld with the cosmic force, he decided to stick around because
there were things he liked here... I asked him if he had any information
to help me on my quest for spiritual evolution. He looked at me and said,
"Son you're doing fine on your own. You don't need my advice." I said, "But
I feel so imperfect, so tormented by contradictions, so twisted by the chaos
of this reality." He looked at me thoughtfully and replied, "Savor these
times, love the contradictions, frolic in the chaos because these are the
thigs that keep you here." He studied me with a sudden wise look, "Are you
ready to let go of the substance from which you are made, are you ready
to realize that you are a being of light and vanish in a bright flash? I
think not.... And besides, they need you around here." |
 |
| He looked
at me again softly, like a mother, and poked me lightly in the ribs, "You
should feed yourself better, and you're taking life too seriously. You should
have more fun!"With that, he turned to go, tripping on his own foot, nearly
falling flat on his face but recovering miraculously by some uncanny skills
of flexibility and balance (or by transparent bungee cords which I could
not see) and skipped down the sidewalk laughing maniacally. "Geez, you're
some help," I muttered. Guess I gotta figure it out for myself. "That's
the point!" the disappearing figure shouted over his sholder.... Aw, I was
hoping for some shortcut, some cop-out, some prepackaged answers that would
instantly transport me to a place where everything was perfecty clear and
there were no looming demons in my closet... Being human is about a lot
of things, it's about exploring possibilities in a vast framework of definitions,
it's about being driven by heart and desire, it's about learning things
the hard way again and again. Your humble writer here is just another one
of 'em, waking up, looking out the window to see what the elements have
thrown at us. Wow! What a pretty morning, or Oh boy, looks like a dreary
one, better put on some bright colors, so I can make it through the day...
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